


Bulldog

by samwhambam



Series: The Rose-Brewer Guide to Sex Positions [1]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, but will mostly be able to read as standalones, in the way that this is part of a series and they're all going to connect, just porn, pure filth, there is a little bit of plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 04:29:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam
Summary: Patrick stumbles across a gay sex positions website, gets curious and decides that his newest project, is working through most of the positions with David. Starting with three he deems good for beginners.





	Bulldog

**Author's Note:**

> Much love to all my Rosebudd Motel friends. You are all lovely people who are also enablers and gave me this GREAT idea. Tonight's writing session was POWERFUL and i'm so glad to have you all to check in with. This ones for you <3
> 
> Major thanks to [didipickles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/didipickles/pseuds/didipickles) for the series name suggestion!

**[From Patrick, 6:47 p.m.]:**

[ **https://gaysexpositions.guide** ](https://gaysexpositions.guide/)

**Have you heard of this website?**

_ [From David, 6:52 p.m.]: _

_ … i’m scared to open this link in front of my mom _

_ oh. this is a gamechanger. _

_ how did you find it? _

_ what’re you doing? _

**[From Patrick, 6:53 p.m.]:**

**When are you coming home?**

_ [From David, 6:53 p.m.]: _

_ literally right now _

_ she can take care of her own wigs _

_ STOP LOOKING AT IT _

_ i’ll be right there _

_ see me taking your car worked out perfectly i’ll be there in 4 minutes _

**[From Patrick, 6:54 p.m.]:**

**Please stop at the stop sign. Don’t want you scaring Mrs. Hudson again. Also, for safety reasons.**

***

Patrick kept scrolling through the website, clicking on positions and then clicking back onto the homepage. He was on  _ ‘reverse wheelbarrow’  _ when he heard keys jangling against the door. David entered the apartment, eyes wild as they focused on Patrick. 

“Context please,” David asked as he waved his hands in Patrick’s direction. He pulled the door closed, threw the keys onto the table and then immediately crowded into Patrick’s space, taking the laptop from his hands as he kicked off his shoes, one of the few lowtops he owned, and crawled into Patrick’s lap. 

“Just doing some research on something fun for us to do tonight,” Patrick shrugged. 

“Okay, but there is no part of this,” Another hand flourish that gestured between the two of them. “That can do that.” David said as he pointed at the screen. 

“I don’t know, David. I think both of us are capable of standing up,” Patrick joked and ran a hand up David’s thigh. 

“Okay, but neither of us can do the hard part,” David raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Yet,” Patrick shot back. 

“Did you already start a spreadsheet?” David mocked and Patrick just pressed a  _ ‘maybe’  _ into the shoulder of David’s sweater. 

“Some of this stuff looks difficult,” David said as he scrolled through the positions. “I’m in my mid-30’s.”

“That’s generous,” Patrick said as he pinched David’s thigh. David just glared at him, like he had on the day of their first date. 

“My knees always hurt,” David whined as Patrick’s fingers smoothed over the area they pinched, fingertips sweeping up the inside seam of David’s skinny jeans.

“But it’ll feel really good.”

“Fine, but I’m going to do the passive role in each of the positions. I will lay there and you will do all of the work,” David insisted, his voice full of an empty threat as Patrick’s breath ghosted along the back of his neck.

“Take your sweater off, David,” Patrick whispered as he curled his fingers around the hem of David’s sweater. 

David raised his arms, letting Patrick pull the sweater up and over his head. 

“What did you want to do tonight?” David asked with a breathy sigh as Patrick pulled at his t-shirt. 

Patrick’s arms wrapped around his waist, pulling David into his back, his hands trailing up and down David’s chest. 

“Something easy. Something simple,” Patrick murmured into David’s ear. He pulled gently at a patch of chest hair and David keened in his lap, rolling his ass into Patrick’s cock in response. 

“Missionary but with you holding my legs up so I don’t have to myself,” David suggested. “And on the bed? With all the pillows?”

“Has anyone ever told you how good you are at dirty talk?” Patrick chuckled. He moved his hands, pushing and pulling at David, using the element of surprise to lurch him forward, onto his hands and knees. 

He ran his hands up the back of David’s thighs, digging his fingertips into the denim as they travelled up and over David’s ass. 

“Oh! Are you gonna rim me?” David groaned as he rocked back, bumping his ass into Patrick’s forearms. “Right here and like this?”

“No. I just wanted you to get off of me,” Patrick smirked as David huffed. 

Patrick got up and closed his laptop, placing it on the coffee table. He pulled off the shirt he was wearing, stripping as he walked into the bedroom. 

“Let’s go, David!” He called out and he could hear David scrambling to catch up. 

When he stopped at the bed, David was wide eyed and watching him, his eyes already on the edge of glassy. 

“Can you take off your clothes for me, baby?” Patrick asked, gently probing David along. 

David stripped quickly as Patrick dug through their bedside table. He wanted the good lube for the night. The lube that was easier to clean off, which David complained about less than the others. 

When Patrick turned around, David was naked and mostly hard and when he reached out to touch David’s cock, David shuddered out a breath, his eyes flickering closed. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” Patrick whispered. He gave him two soft strokes before removing his hand to tilt David’s jaw. Patrick pressed a kiss to David’s lips. “You’re already so worked up.”

“My mind’s been going crazy since you texted me, thinking of all the things you want to do. What we’re going to do,” David explained, his hands coming out to grip at Patrick’s skin. He pulled Patrick into another kiss. “I was just thinking about you sitting there, getting worked up over how you want to fuck me.”

“Get on the bed. Lay down flat,” Patrick ordered and David was shaking as he knelt on the edge of the bed, stretching his body as he moved to lay on his back. 

“You’re always so desperate for me,” Patrick cooed and David blushed, his cheeks tinting pink. 

Patrick joined him on the bed, cuddling into his side as he kissed along David’s shoulder. He hummed in contentment as one of David’s hands came up to curl along the back of Patrick’s neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, David’s tongue tracing along Patrick’s. 

The kiss turned filthy and David’s back arched into Patrick as Patrick scratched at David’s side. David’s lips were moving urgently along Patrick’s, teeth biting and pulling on Patrick’s lower lip. 

Patrick pulled away, gasping as he moved his lips down David’s neck and across a collarbone. 

“In another world, if we were both okay with it, I’d wanna spit roast you. You’d look so beautiful like that,” Patrick moaned the words into David’s chest, dragging his lips through David’s chest hair. He looked up at David, making eye contact. David bit his lip and his chest heaved almost hard enough to buck Patrick off of him. “You’d look so beautiful. My cock in your ass with another one in your mouth. All full like you’re meant to be. But, that’s never going to happen. I can’t share you. I don’t want to. I want my cock to be the only thing you’re full of.”

David’s mouth fell open, his head falling back onto the pillow.

“God, Patrick. You can’t just say things like that.” David gasped out, voice cutting out as Patrick took a nipple into his mouth, other fingers coming up to toy with the other one. 

“You look too good for me to not say it,” Patrick muttered, his tongue flicking at David’s nipple. 

But he let go of both, continuing on down south where he tongued at the head of David’s cock. 

“Baby, look, you’re leaking,” Patrick said as he wrapped a hand around the base of David’s cock. 

Patrick looked up at David whose head was still tilted back. 

“Look, David. Look how good you look,” Patrick slapped his own jaw with David’s cock until David looked down. 

“Fuck,” David moaned as Patrick took him in his mouth, his head tilted so David could still watch Patrick’s lips move along him. 

As much as he wanted to play into it more, the angle was awkward, so he shifted and he knew his head was blocking David’s view, but that was the least of his worries. 

He took all of David’s length in one go, one of the perks of years of a relationship, he could deepthroat David like a champ.

David was moaning above him, already so close to the edge and Patrick could hear the expletives tumbling out of David’s mouth, the phrases encouraging him to such harder, and when he moved his head, pulling up and almost off of David’s cock, he could hear David pleading him to suck him faster. Move more. Do something. 

But Patrick took his time, fingertips moving to play with David’s balls as he keep a constant tempo, head bobbing comfortably. 

“Baby, I need just a little bit more,” David pleaded and Patrick pulled off of him completely. 

“You’re not cumming from a blowjob tonight, David,” Patrick straightened out, dropping a chaste kiss, wet with precum and saliva, onto David’s dry and bitten lips. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” David muttered as he threw an arm over his eyes. He couldn’t watch as Patrick moved down his body, if he did, he knew he would come right then and there. 

Patrick nudged his legs open, laying down between them. 

“Put your knees up, feet flat on the bed,” Patrick ordered and David did so quickly, but as soon as his feet touched the bed, Patrick was moving them by his ankles, up and over his own body so David’s feet were flat on Patrick’s upper back. 

Patrick tucked his hands underneath David’s ass, tilting it up just a bit. David’s eyes flew down towards him at the shift. 

“Here’s that rimming you wanted,” Patrick smirked, licking his lips in anticipation and David propped himself up on his elbows, craning his neck to get a good view of Patrick. 

“Nope, baby. The website says you have to be laying on your back, so I’m going to need you to lay flat,” Patrick teased him, voice full of snark and David just rolled his eyes at him. 

But all the annoyance was gone once Patrick licked gently against David’s hole, using a few fingers to spread David’s cheeks. Once David was settled, Patrick flattened his tongue, drawing a long line up and over David’s hole, up past his balls and to the tip of his dick. 

David shook, his hands reaching down to grasp at the first part of Patrick he could reach. His long fingers encircled Patrick’s wrists, holding them both steady as Patrick licked into him, his tongue traced along the edge of David’s rim and then pushed into him just slightly. 

Just enough to have David preening above him, but not enough to give him any semblance of relief. Just enough to tease him, get him excited for what he thought was coming next. Patrick pushed in just a little bit farther, but then pulled out, turning his head to bite at David’s ass. 

David yelped in surprise, but before he could calm down, Patrick was back to licking at David’s hole, sucking and biting at the surrounding skin. He licked into David’s hole, forcing his tongue in and David’s moans were getting louder, his body quivering as Patrick’s tongue flickered over his perineum. 

He wanted to take David’s balls into his mouth, but he knew David was too worked up, so he didn’t. But he did lick the beads of precum off the tip of David’s cock, praying that David didn’t come yet. 

“You’re being so good for me, baby,” Patrick encouraged as he slowly sat up, David’s feet slipping off of him. “I need you to turn over. On your knees and elbows.”

Patrick watched David move slowly, saw his brain coming back online as it pulled its limbs into place. It was only when David looked back and over his shoulder at him did he realize how riled up he, himself was. His body was aching, his own cock pink and heavy with desire, just from David’s body moving underneath his mouth. Hearing Davids whimpers as he waited for Patrick was deadly and Patrick took a second to just appreciate the view.

His husband ready and in position for him, groaning and begging for Patrick to fuck him. He could see David’s hips twitch as he fought his own urge to grind his cock into the duvet. 

Patrick leaned over him, his body briefly brushing against David’s, to grab the lube. 

“Fucking finally,” David gasped as Patrick opened the bottle. 

Patrick spread it over his fingers, dripping a few drops from the bottle directly onto David’s hole, which caused him to arch his back violently. 

“Careful, David. Like you said earlier, you’re old and your joints are bad. Just lay like that and take it,” Patrick teased and he wished David was on his back, just so he could watch David roll his eyes and huff. 

“Fuck me, Patrick. Please. Baby,” David begged underneath him.

Patrick couldn’t hold out anymore. He wanted to tease him for hours, take his time stretching him. But he was powerless when it came to David. He would always give David what he needed. 

So he pushed a finger into David, sliding his finger in until he was knuckle deep, but David was already moaning for more, so Patrick replaced it with two fingers, holding them still as David began to fuck himself on them. 

“This is so hot. You’re so hot, David,” Patrick groaned. He wiggled his fingers as David moved. 

“Another,” David said, his voice barely audible over Patrick’s heavy breathing.

When David rocked up, completely off of Patrick’s fingers, Patrick stroked his hole with three fingertips, licking his lips as he watched David’s hole open up for them and them swallow them quickly as David threw his body back. 

“I’m ready, i’m ready, i’m ready,” David chanted.

“Fuck. Babe. I got you,” Patrick promised as he shook the almost empty bottle and squeezed lube onto his own cock. He slicked himself up, moaning as he finally touched himself. 

David moaned loudly and Patrick looked up, making eye contact as David looked back at him. 

“Fuck me.”

“I got you. I always got you,” Patrick promised him again as he shifted his body up, setting his knees outside of David’s legs. 

He pushed his cock into David’s ass, shuddering at the tight sensation that just never got old. David’s head dropped to the bed, a loud moan ripping from his chest. 

“God, Patrick,” David cried out as Patrick began to move, pushing in and out of him a few experimental times. 

Patrick leaned forward, his hands finding purchase on the bed, each thumb grazing David’s elbows. Patrick shifted his weight onto his hands and his toes, lifting his knees so he could pummel straight down into David. He tried again from this position and David moaned, head tilting back to bump against Patrick’s shoulder. 

“Fuck, Patrick,” David gasped, his head lolling to the side to burrow into the side of Patrick’s. Patrick felt David tilt his hips just a little bit more and then he could feel David’s face screwed up as he clamped his eyes closed, his jar falling open, breath coming out hot and heavy onto Patrick’s ear. “Patrick!”

David was mumbling as Patrick drilled into him, body shaking underneath Patrick’s as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. 

Patrick could barely hear the snippets of  _ baby, fuck, so good, harder  _ over the rushing of blood in his ears. 

“David,” Patrick gasped. “You’re so good. So tight. So beautiful,”

David was whining and absolute putty underneath Patrick. David pressed his face closer to Patrick and as he closed his mouth, his lips brushed against Patrick’s ear and a full body shiver traveled down his spine. He could feel something wet against his head and if he was a little more hinged, he would make a snarky comment about David drooling, but he was too close to the edge and he was hitting David’s prostate, hard, with every thrust. 

“I’m gonna come,” David said underneath him, his voice deep and like gravel.

“Come for me, baby,” Patrick ordered and he moved his hands, shifting so they were holding onto David’s and with one hard final push, they were both coming, their names tumbling off of each other’s tongues.

“Oh. My. God,” David groaned as Patrick shifted, slowly pulling out of him. 

Once he was out, David collapsed, stretching his muscles out as Patrick’s cum slowly dribbled out of him. Patrick shifted so he was laying down next to David, an arm and a leg curled over David’s backside. 

“That was fucking incredible,” David said, eyes fluttering closed. 

Patrick just pressed soft kisses to the skin he could reach, too tired to move and cover more surface area. 

“Wanna know what those were all called?” Patrick asked with a small smirk.

“No, but you can show me later when you check them off your spreadsheet,” David said with a small smile. “You dirty, dirty man.”

Patrick just chuckled, too worn out to move.

“I love you, David.”

David opened his eyes, deep brown searching for Patrick’s soft hazel. 

“I love you too, honey.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> um  
positions done:  
supine (for both the blowjob and rim job.) apparently the two have different positions for the same name.  
bulldog for the fuckin'
> 
> i'm on tumblr as [samwhambam](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> i'm gonna go take a cold shower now  
byyyyyeeeeeeee


End file.
